Relaxing and Corroding
Photo courtesy of Gratisography
Saturday, July 25th, 2026I had a birthday recently. It was a big one. One where I should have thrown a party, but I just wasn’t interested in the effort involved in doing that.
Instead I did a repeat of last year where I had meet ups with small groups of friends so I could spend quality time with them - some of which I hadn’t seen in a few months. It was nice to reconnect and not feel rushed or spread out.
A week of donuts and cake was also a nice way to extend the sugar rush…
Over the course of this move, I’ve been noticing myself becoming more and more mentally scattered. I’ll go into rooms, forgetting what I went in for, or getting distracted by something and completely forgetting about what I was previously doing until I pass it by again and then go back to it, only to abandon the other thing that I had just picked up.
It has gotten so bad that when I tell the dogs we’re going upstairs or downstairs or outside, Wally waits a beat or two more because he knows that I’ll forget something or remember something and I’ll turn around to take care of it.
It’s saying something when you lose credibility with your dog.
I feel like I’ve aged significantly more in the last two years than just two years. My habit of going to the gym eventually dwindled down to sporadic before becoming non-existent. The loss of the habit shows. My clothes don’t fit anymore. Most of my joints ache a lot of the time. I feel less “spry” than I used to.
Just the act of using the word “spry” is indicative of not being.
When they took X-rays for my sprained ankle a couple months ago, they mentioned advanced arthritis in my second toe. That didn’t surprise me. The joint fused in high school. The advanced part probably explains the foot pain and stiffness I remember each morning when I try to take my first steps. It’s been getting worse.
I’ve started making it a point to get off the ground without using my hands.
I had two ciders yesterday. I made chocolate chip cookies the night before. I didn’t realize the recipe was going to make 50! I ate more than I needed to and gave the rest away. As the gym dwindled away, cider and sugar became my dietary staples. They have done me no favors. It’s time to make them “cibus non gratus”.
Obviously, I googled that.
I feel like a spring, slowly, cautiously unwinding. Partially because having my own space is allowing me to relax. Partially because there are a lot of parts of myself that have corroded the last two years, and I’m trying not to break myself.
“Gentle” is not my strong suit. “Powering through” - frantically - is my strong suit. I’m getting too old for that shit. It’s time to take care of myself.
Stay Gritty