Carrying the Extra Leg

Photo courtesy of Gratisography

Thursday, March 5th, 2026

It’s been a roller coaster of a week. I had my yearly review and I was pissed about it.

I didn’t get anything I asked for last year. What I did get felt like a slap in the face. The absolute least that could be done to say something changed.

I was told my work is great. That I go above and beyond what’s called for.

I know I do. I’ve watched my health suffer because I do.

And yet, above and beyond doesn’t seem to be enough. Which raises the obvious question: do I do less? Do I slack off and let things slip through the cracks? Do I start saying no?

The problem with that strategy is that I’m not the one who takes the fall when something doesn’t get done properly or on time. That ends up on someone else’s plate, and I’m not going to do that to them. That’s not fair.

So instead I walk around work with a bad attitude. I will be the first to admit that.

I’m fucking mad. I feel invisible. I feel passed over. I feel disincluded — not unincluded — disincluded. purposefully.not.included.

And I don’t know why.

I’m the one who has to do the work, and somehow I’m being left out of meetings where people are talking about things I need to know in order to do the job. The information eventually trickles down to me through someone who is… not always great with details or technical nuance.

It’s a great system. It’s not, actually.

There were moments where I genuinely wondered if I was being quietly fired. Just ignored more and more, given less and less information, hoping I’d eventually get frustrated enough to quit.

And honestly? I tried.

But I’m risk-averse enough to know I want a job in hand before I let one go, and that didn’t materialize. So here I am.

Which brings me to the other part of the equation: the company has been tightening the screws everywhere. Insurance is worse and more expensive. Vacation accrual dropped. The 401k changed to a match - and a smaller one at that. Bonuses were restructured. Raises, once again, came in below cost of living.

Essentially, paying us less in every way they can without technically lowering our pay.

I know these are valid things to be upset about. The company is shifting its position and those shifts tend to land hardest on the people lower on the food chain.

It absolutely doesn’t help that the world is chaotic and leaving a stable job right now feels like a gamble. A lot of people are trapped in that exact calculation.

Here’s the thing though.

I have a stockpile of vacation time. My 401k will be fully funded this year. There’s still an opportunity for a bonus. I did get a raise, even if it wasn’t enough to keep up with inflation. Not everyone is that lucky.

I work with people I genuinely enjoy. I like the work itself. It’s challenging in the right ways and I continuously learn new things. I get paid well. I only have to go into the office occasionally. When I do, the space is cool and filled with people who actually care about what they’re doing.

Honestly, it’s a great job.
Which makes the anger feel slightly ridiculous.

I believe life is 50/50. 50% good. 50% not good. 

Right now my job feels maybe 40% great and 60% not great.

That’s not terrible.

I don’t even need it to be 100% great. I’m not sure I’m ready for that much happy.

What I want is recognition. A title change? A shift in responsibility? Something that acknowledges the level I’m already operating at.

I’ve been here seven years. I’m good at what I do. I’ve done big things.

I don’t think it’s unreasonable to want someone to say so.

Staying Gritty